The sky is falling

This morning at 5.36am I was driving to the gym, when a half peeled mandarin fell out of the sky. It dropped to the road in front of my car. Before this happened, it was a pretty normal day in my suburb, I had passed the man in his High-Vis vest on his way to the train station, carrying his lunch in a plastic bag, I saw the cute couple who walk their two black dachshunds, the rest of the street was deserted, everyone was asleep. I was wiping the sleep from my eyes, thinking about the coffee I needed, the client I had coming at 9 and how I needed to get into the city by 1 for the second orthodontic appointment this week.

Then, the falling fruit. Unexpected to say the least. By the time I had turned the corner, my rational brain had decided that it was probably some kind of raptor or maybe the local osprey had been carrying it and dropped it. It may have been a possum or a koala in the huge gum trees I just passed. Do koalas eat fruit? I don’t think so, can a possum peel a mandarin? I think a thumb is essential for that. Could it have already been half peeled and taken from a bin or tree? Wait, maybe it fell from a light aircraft or drone? There could be many reasons, and none also. Did that just happen?

If I had pulled over, I may have seen a large bird swoop down to collect his breakfast, or a tree creature scurry down the great gum to retrieve his meal, but I wanted to get to the gym before the personal trainer arrived because she was a yeller and I needed some chill-out, treadmill time with music.

I suppose the thing that really struck me was that sometimes in life, weird shit happens, strange and unexplainable things occur for which we can’t prepare ourselves. They happen to us and people we love and care about. The most revealing thing about us, I suppose, is how we choose to respond or react to this unexpected shit.

Do we scream and rant and wail? The sky is falling? The bible said this would happen! First the falling fruit, then the rivers of blood, followed by fire and pestilence. Or some people are more like,
“Whew – lucky that didn’t smash my window or cause an accident.” Because sometimes, weird and unexplainable shit happens and we react how we react, when we are blown off course or blindsided.  I think said “What the fuck?” which, I think is a perfectly normal reaction to a mandarin dropping from the sky.

Sometimes the unexpected can drop us to our knees. A death, a loss, a redundancy, relationship or business failure. We mourn, weep, question – why me? We plea to God or the universe to fix everything and make it back to how it was, even if wasn’t perfect or satisfying. It was what we were used to. We want our loveless marriage or narcissistic relationship back, as at least it looked acceptable to society and we were not alone or broken, we want our unfulfilling job back because it was a mortgage payment, even though it wasn’t a career and made us feel dead inside. We want things back, even if they were not in our best interest. We bargain, we promise to ourselves that we will be better, love better, work harder, show more compassion, spend more time with our family, take holidays, stress less, support more, not be so quick to judge or criticize and take better care of ourselves. We promise, barter and bargain.

We do, or we don’t. What we focus on becomes our reality. Why did he/she leave me? Reject me? Hate me? Sack me? Die? We wallow. The wallowing is important. It may feel or look self indulgent. It may look like staying in, watching sappy movies and eating three day old leftovers. Your friends, family, co-workers may try to rally you out of your misery, but this is the most important part. You will come out when the lessons are learned. It’s not time to suppress these emotions with alcohol, drugs or others, it is the time to let the emotions out to breathe. Give them space to move. This is the absorption time, the time for marinating in your own juices, the time to say no, the time you need for yourself, to return to self love and healing.

It’s not time to immediately get over him or her, move on or push forward to a new path. If you leave before you are ready, that path will rise up and trip you again and again, as the lessons weren’t learned. I know this. I’ve done this. I’ve pushed the wallowing away, with alcohol, with food, with exercise and with any other distraction I could. I then found myself in the same mess. Now I know how to grieve. To wallow. To wait it out. It passes. It does take time in between the loss and recovery. The time can only be defined by you. You choose how long to grieve. One day you wake up and know that you don’t have to carry it anymore.

Because we can’t control what happens in life, to us or others. We can’t control who loves us, who leaves us, who lives or dies, who stays or goes and when. It is out of our hands. We can only control how we react or respond and for how long we chose to beat ourselves up, blame others and wallow.

Wallowing is a state demonstrating how much we loved. Love is the essence of what makes us human. Wallowing shows we cared, we felt, and these people or circumstances were important to us.  Grief is an essential part of honouring what we loved. At some point, there will come a time to let go, acknowledge this love and loss and reabsorb it into ourselves. Anyone touched by grief is forever changed. Their hearts are a little more cracked open. Grief is the learning, the process of taking on the lessons, what has this person or situation taught me? We become a little more vulnerable and accepting. We can choose to learn from this and learn from the experience.

It may be that we will never love someone so much that we lose ourselves, it may be that we will never put work before family again, the lesson may be, I want to become more like the person I lost, how can I be like the best part of them? We may start to think, how would they behave, how can I emulate them? What was significant about that loss/relationship/job? What did I learn? How can I become better, more compassionate and loving after this experience? How am I now? How do I want to be?

Fruit falling from the sky made me question life. It exhausted my brain trying to make sense of it, but it quietened my heart. There was a deep knowing.  Weird shit happens. How I respond to it, is my choice. I choose to follow my heart, it somehow, knows the unknown.

by

Demystifying Counselling


I don’t have a couch. I have a colourful chair and quite a lot of books. I go through about four boxes of tissues a month, only because my children have allergies. People don’t come to see me to lie down and cry. I don’t take notes like a Woody Allen therapist. Sometimes, I may jot down a web link or a reminder to email you but I’m not a psychiatrist and I don’t need to see you every week. I’m a normal person, just like you, who is balancing work, children, relationships, life and all the challenges they bring. I’m a terrible cook, a miserable housewife and a reluctant exerciser, but my daughter told me last night I’m an amazing Mum. This time it was me reaching for the tissues.

Holistic Counselling guides you towards healing by looking at the whole you and everything that has made you, uniquely you. This covers emotional, physical, spiritual, social, psychological, sexual, cultural, environmental. We work, together inquiring into your life experiences and assess your needs and how to best support you.

Sometimes there are periods in life where we need additional support. Things that are not within our control, like illness, death, work changes, family stress, leaving us feeling stuck, frozen, unable to move forward or just plain fearful, angry, frustrated, lonely or depressed. I’ve faced many changes in my life. Some of them, I have bumbled through in the dark, without help and learning the hard way, and thankfully for the rest I have had support and guidance of wise instructors.

Types of issues which can be helped by counselling are:

  • Grief
  • Depression
  • Changes in the work place
  • Goal setting
  • Family or relationship difficulties
  • Setting boundaries
  • Decision making
  • Improving Communication skills
  • Stress
  • Anxiety

I studied counselling so I could pass on some of this wisdom, guidance and support I’ve received in my life. Most of my clients spend a lot of the session laughing, I find it easy to relate to others having gone through similar things. I have experienced the heartache of broken relationships, the ground disappearing under my feet when my workplace has gone through major change, the goalposts moving when things didn’t go to plan and parenting, pretty much the toughest job of my life.

Sometimes I have all my ducks in a row and the homework is done, the lunches are packed, I’ve ticked off my to-do list and I feel like slapping a gold star on my forehead. Some weeks, the dishwasher is broken, my kids are sick, I’m angry with my husband, and the garage door jams shut at 8am trapping me and my cheering children inside.

My youngest daughter has just fashioned a swear jar for me. So far I have almost enough to buy a small Indonesian country.

Methods used in Holistic Counselling

  • Dissolution of Freedom Technique to shift physical or emotional pain
  • The Work of Byron Katie
  •  Emotional Freedom Technique ( Tapping)
  •  Structural Constellations for decision making
  •  Guided meditations
  •  Inner Child Work
  •  Effective Communication
  •  Active and empathic listening

Often people will come to see my for reiki or massage and I offer this combined with the deeper support of counselling.  I blend and mix depending on your needs. It’s normal to be scared, nervous, anxious when coming to a counselling session for the first time. Let’s take the first step together. I have tissues, but you more than likely will be wiping away tears of laughter. Follow the link here  to my home page to read my blog which might give you more of an understanding of who I am.

I am a Holistic Counsellor, Massage Therapist and Reiki practitioner based in Brisbane. Contact me to arrange a time suitable to you to commence the first step towards your healing.

 

by

Gym flunky

Before I joined the gym, I thought I was reasonably fit. Turns out, this was an extremely incorrect assumption. I had not been exercising and been making a lot of excuses. I hadn’t run for a few months because it was “too cold,” “I was injured” or I “had too much on” but the fact was, I was bored. I had been running the same route for three years, I had done it backwards, forwards, done my own version of interval training, which meant if I saw someone coming, I ran, until they were gone, then I walked again. It was just getting all too familiar, dull and I needed a change of scenery.

When I suggested the possibility of selling the house and moving to a new location, to have a new place to run, this didn’t go down too well. In fact, I think that was the end of the discussion. I needed to think of some other ideas. I had a few weeks of meeting friends near water and good coffee shops and taking a walk around the bay. That was okay, but because of everyone’s availability, not regular enough. I realised I might need to join a gym. At least that way I had no excuse when it rained, when it was too cold or too hot and I could mix it up a bit with the classes and equipment.

I decided to become a member of the local female only gym, as I had joined this gym years ago, plus it removed the pervy factor. I had been a member of the Pitt St Fernwood gym in all its jade green 80s glory, free gel and mouse in the bathrooms and large workout studio. I used to go a few times a week after work, stick my leg in one of the stretchy rubber band things tied to a weights machine and move my leg back and forth, while catching up on gossip with a girlfriend. We sometimes did a pump class with light weights and more often than not, evened out any calories lost by winding up in a small cafe eating antipasto and drinking the house red.

There have been some big changes since 1997. For one, the gym had a makeover, out with the jade Formica fittings and in with the hot pink branding and streamlined font. I was introduced to the concept of Virtual classes (if you can’t be motivated to turn the TV/DVD on at home you can get in the car, drive to the gym and on turn their TV/DVD) in this studio, one lonely lady sat on a fixed bike watching the big screen. I don’t think virtual is for me. I was shown the members lounge, fitness magazines and the coffee machine. The change rooms, still with the free products, I noticed hairspray, cotton buds and some cheery pink tampons in a jar. Also new were the mini TV monitors on all of the exercise machines. Like I said, I had not stepped into a gym since last century.

My perky, size 0 triple marathon runner in training showed me the machines, where to press which buttons, how to change the weights up or down and adjust the seats forward and back. She showed me how to position and strap my feet into the stationary bike, what my posture should look like and how to plug my headphones into the TV. I plugged these in and listened to Karl and Lisa banter about the wild winds in Sydney. I raised my eyebrows. “ HOW DO YOU FEEL?” squealed my gym instructor, all wide eyes and teeth. “ Lazy, ” was my reply. If someone handed me a bowl of Doritos or some caramel covered popcorn I could settle in for the afternoon.

She had filled out my program to include some light arm weights, leg weights as well as cardio and some leany stretches on some ropes as well as lunges and crunches. I was excused from heavy weights or the overhead pull things. She recommended I do 5 – 10 minutes on the runner machine but I had seen so many YouTube videos of catastrophic falls, so I decided to start slowly and work my way up to running. Like in a year.

“You might find you like the classes better.” She said taking me off to show me where to file my fitness program and to look at the class schedule. I took a copy home and highlighted the ones I liked, steering clear of Virtual classes and anything with the word High Impact.

I knew, I had to just knock over my first class and the nerves of being somewhere new. I hate new, unless they come in a pair, and are expensive heels. I hate being the new girl, not knowing where to put my stuff, or what to do or expect. Thankfully, my boxing instructor was the same lady who had inducted me and I was paired up with a helpful partner around the same age. I felt comfortable, but still slightly afraid. Our instructor was like a blonde Duracell bunny with rock hard abs encased in pink Lycra. Anyone who can run 42.2 kilometres, back up and do it the next year and the next must be part cyborg. I knew it was not going to be an easy class.

We ran, we punched, we squatted, we kicked, we lunged, we did uppercuts, jabs and hooks. We counted, lost count, laughed and one lady had to sit down on the stairs because she thought she was going to vomit. I told her to make room for me.

My punching partner told me not to give 100% on my first go. I didn’t quite follow. How can you not punch hard, or slack off in the run, or not do as many squats as everyone else when we were all together? I realised what she meant a few days later, when it was too late. When the class was over, they all stayed for some kind of TTT class ( Thighs, Tummy, Tail) I scooted off as I had to get ready for a Saturday morning client.

My husband asked me how I went. I turned around to show him my back sweat. I barely break into a sweat unless it is really hot. “Oooh,” he said impressed. “Well done!” I started to pour the milk into my coffee but my hands were shaking. The milk wobbled from side to side as I tried to stabilise all 2 kilos of it with my pathetic useless right hand. Within an hour, my forearms were tight and painful and even the muscles between my fingers were aching. When I was taking my client’s details, it was hard for me even to grip the pen.

By Sunday, getting up from a seated position and sitting down again were agony. I made grunting noises like an old man and thought about hiring a walking frame just to lean into, to help me up. Gradually this passed.

The following week I did a few gentle gym sessions using the equipment. I learned the back story of the Barcelona terrorist attackers while looking out over traffic, heading in and out of the fabric shop, infant swimming lessons and the Pole dancing studio. I tried new things, I watched what everyone else did, I towelled down my seat after use, put my drink bottle beside me at the rower, returned my locker key to its hook and I started to settle in. The next Saturday I decided I was ready for the double header, boxing followed by TTT.

It started out hard and I felt weaker than the first time, but I managed to get through the second boxing class, a run around the block ( a lady after my own heart squawked “Shit – too much traffic to walk, we better run.”) I managed my way through a few push ups which collapsed into laughing belly flops because of the shoulder. Then it was time for TTT.

There was no easing in, she started with 100 squats. Sometimes I do ten squats thinking I’m quite impressive, before I get a bit puffed. There were no low numbers in this class, everything was 80 this, 70 that, 90 lunges. Weird jumping things, a lot of them. Maybe burpies? Torturous and timed wall squats, leg raises, ab crunches, there were a few moments where I had hallucinations of me running to the car and leaving, these thoughts were halted by the fact that I knew I couldn’t run. I kept looking at the time willing the big hand to move to the 12. Make it stop! She then told us to lie down on the mat for ankle taps, whatever they are, I went into corpse pose. What ankles? They were too far down my body. I collapsed, exhausted, spent, depleted.

It’s Monday, I’m considering going back for a gentle session on the machines. I’m also thinking about a second breakfast, a cup of tea and scrolling through my emails. Right now, it is a chore to go to the loo and I have to ease my way to a seated position by holding onto the window sill. Last night at 3 am my daughter called out to me “Mummy – I can’t sleep,” and I lay there willing myself to roll over but not able to engage any muscles into action. I forgot you need your stomach muscles to roll. Mine were traumatised and on strike. I had to call back “Darling, I’m lying down and I can’t get up, come in and wake up Daddy.”  Unless we could rig up some kind of crank and pulley system, I was immobile. I dozed back to sleep, dreaming of treadmill spills and push-up face-plants.

I will get there, just one foot in front of the other, I remind myself. There are so many situations in life, that are hard the first time, it’s just a matter of getting your bearings and finding your own way. Anything new is hard, joining a gym, going for a walk or run around the block, walking into a room full of strangers, travelling solo,  leaving a job, quitting an unhealthy habit, or leaving a toxic relationship. It is so worth taking the risk and stepping into the new rather than staying trapped in the familiar.

If you need guidance, or assistance in finding your place, starting something new, stepping out of your comfort zone, holistic counselling can be life changing.  I will listen without judgement, if I can, I will try to hold a pen to take notes, but mostly I will be with you to help plan the start of your trip, as someone who has been there and taken some pretty scary steps, negotiated change and come out the other side still breathing, I can be a guide. The question for you to answer is “Are you ready?”

Click here for some laughter therapy – Treadmill fails

by

8 Tips to Improve the quality of your life – by Ana Baretto

The following came from a meditation on Insight Timer by Ana Baretto. You can find this full 30 minute meditation on the free meditation app Insight Timer. I’d like to say I use this meditation app every day – I don’t. I use it when I remember and that is enough. There are more than 5000 different meditations to choose from – I always find something to suit the mood. She wrote this meditation with women in mind, but really none of these tips are gender specific.

These are some notes I have made – but it is worth making time to listen to her whole meditation as she has many valuable messages.

  1. Create a sacred space for yourself. This can be in the bedroom, shed, study. Something that is just for you. Fill it with your favourite things and use that space to read, meditate, do craft or just spend some time alone. She didn’t say this but I am sure you could secretly drink wine here as well. She did say that you need to clean, clear and bless this space.
  2. Meditate – When you meditate you stop your thoughts. This is helpful to reframe your thinking, calm your mind and take time out for you. When you first begin to meditate start slowly, 5 minutes may be enough to start and you can lengthen this as you get better. She also recommended morning meditation to set yourself up for the day. I have found this the best way to go and it is helpful when you start to lose your sh!t during the day to remember to calm down and breathe. I put headphones on and an eye mask so that my family can see that I don’t want to be interrupted. I still get asked questions like “How do I get all this mud off my shoes?” and “Do you know where my homework book is?” I find a long Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm is usually enough to scare this person off.
  3. Learn to ask for help – this is a tricky one to for many people. She explains that doing everything perpetuates the victim mentality and really gets whiny, whiny. I spent years saying I do everything around here,  until I realised I didn’t actually do everything, nor did I have to do everything! Asking for help, Ana explains, allows your friends and family to practice acts of kindness. I love helping people, it makes me feel good. Let your friends and family help you. Go ahead and ask “Would you…”

 

  1. Trust your intuition – This is a big one. She explains that the more you listen to your inner guidance the more guidance you will get. I really like that. Should I have the mushroom or the pepper sauce on my steak? Always the pepper, says my inner guide. She also explains in a brilliant way how to distinguish your inner guidance from your inner critic. Seems that the inner critic is the nasty one and the inner guidance is much kinder.

 

  1. You have as much time as you think you do – How often do we say “I just don’t have time”, ” I ‘m too busy, ” “I wish I could but I have so much on.”  This is all about scheduling time for yourself,  for time out, or down time. Once you schedule it in, you have as much time as you need.

 

  1. Create a practice of gratitude. We hear this so many times that there must be something in it. Studies also show that people who pray or have faith are happier and live longer. Ana says it is impossible to feel fearful and grateful at the same time. She recommends saying 10 each night, sometimes I am flat out having one thought at night. Yes. Bed. Good. So maybe try three. Three is a pretty easy number and can even be “I am grateful that I am alive, healthy and happy.” Unless of course you are not healthy or happy, in which case you could just be thankful that you have a bed and you are lying in it.

 

  1. Let it go. We all carry stuff that we no longer need, or no longer serves us, or is not for our higher good. We carry people, things and emotions we don’t need to anymore. Some of them may be ” I’m not good enough” “I’m fat” “ I can never run my own business” “ I will never have enough money”. When we change  our lives we have to discard some of our old thoughts as well. She also recommended removing clutter from our homes, cupboards and minds. I chose to ignore that. I need all my stuff. I think that could be helpful advice for some people.

 

  1. Share your gifts – This was a nice one. I don’t think it means at Christmas you have to give everything away – it was more about discovering your unique gifts and sharing them with the world. You may think that your gift isn’t large or good enough to share, but we all have something to offer, even if it is just kindness, a smile, or a compliment. I once told a lady at the airport I liked her shoes. I heard her telling someone else and she was really chuffed about it. She was pretty old and she had silver sneakers and that made me happy. Tell people in your life the things you like about them, because they are probably listening to their inner critic all day and it’s always nice to hear something genuine and surprising about yourself.

 

 

 

 

by

15 easy things you can do when you feel like shit ( thanks Buzzfeed)

  1. Get a drink of water.

You could be dehydrated! Your body needs water. Not juice, soda, or alcohol — get a tall glass of water and make yourself drink all of it.

  1. Make your bed.

When you have a lot to do and it feels overwhelming, making your bed can be the first step in getting your life on track. It will also (hopefully) discourage you from getting back into it.

  1. Take a shower.

Life feels different when you’re clean! And it can give you a burst of energy if you’re feeling lethargic. Wash your hair and give yourself a head massage.

  1. Have a snack — not junk food!

Did you eat enough today? It’s super tempting to eat junk food when you feel like crap. If you don’t feel like making a whole meal, maybe eat just a piece of fruit; something you can burn throughout the day and not in a burst of five minutes.

  1. Take a walk.

Maritsa Patrinos / BuzzFeed

You might need some fresh air and not even know it. Give your body some natural light, breathe some different air, move your legs a little, even if it’s for just five minutes. Allow yourself to think some different thoughts.

  1. Change your clothes.

Even if you aren’t going to leave the house today, put on real clothes. Or, if you’ve been wearing the same uncomfortable clothes all day and feel restless, change into your sleepy clothes and slippers and relax.

  1. Change your environment.

Maritsa Patrinos / BuzzFeed

Staring at the same four walls day after day can be drudging. Can you work from a cafe, a library, or a friend’s house? If you can add going somewhere to the list of things you did today, you may feel more accomplished.

  1. Talk to someone, not on the internet — it can be about anything.

If you don’t feel like talking through your troubles, that’s OK. Visit a friend, talk to them about a movie you saw. Call your mom and see how she’s doing.

  1. Dance to an upbeat guilty pleasure song.

NOT ELLIOT SMITH! Pick something high energy and bump it. Dance like a rock star for one song to get your blood pumping again.

  1. Get some exercise.

Do some cardio, work up a sweat. If you don’t have the time for a whole workout, look up a sun salutation on YouTube and stretch for as long as you have time. Do some push-ups or sit-ups at your desk.

  1. Accomplish something — even if it’s something tiny.

Maritsa Patrinos / BuzzFeed

Do you need to grab some groceries? Schedule a doctor’s appointment? Reply to an email? If you can’t get to the big stuff on your list, focus on the small stuff, and don’t forget to congratulate yourself for getting something done.

  1. Hug an animal.

If you don’t have a pet, can you visit a friend’s? Or can you go to an animal shelter?

  1. Make a “done” list instead of a “to-do” list.

Maritsa Patrinos / BuzzFeed

Instead of overwhelming yourself right now, start feeling better about what you did get done. You can add “brushed teeth,” “washed dishes,” or “picked out an outfit” to your list. It doesn’t matter how small the task, prove to yourself that you’re effectual.

  1. Watch a YouTube video that always makes you laugh.

youtube.com

I personally recommend this one.

  1. Give yourself permission to feel shitty.

You’re allowed to have a shitty day, and you don’t have to fix it all right now. If you try to fix it and it doesn’t work, that doesn’t mean it’s hopeless. Give yourself the time and space you need to feel what you’re feeling.

Big thanks to Sinope for this inspirational Tumblr post.

by
,

Pain – are you ready to let go?

Do you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders? Are you constantly sticking your neck out for everyone else? Are you stressed, tired, have unexplained pain or unable to sleep well?

Sometimes unexplained pain or chronic pain cannot be resolved with conventional therapies or medication. It may offer some relief, but the pain returns. This pain can reside on a physical level, but the source may be emotional. Unresolved emotional pain including trauma, grief, stress and loss can often manifest in the body as physical pain.

For some, this pain is beneficial, it is a way of getting help, sympathy or assistance. Some of us are not ready to let go of our pain as it offers us a chance to connect with others, a reason to ask for help, it allows us to need others without having to be vulnerable or emotionally needy, so instead, we become physically needy. Sometimes we are not ready for help, we want to blame an injury, an accident, our medication or incompetent doctors or health professionals. But what if this pain is trying to tell us something? What if the accident, the injury, the hurt is a way of our body letting us know that we need to acknowledge our emotional wounds and pain?

Energetic Healing can help

Human memory is stored in the brain and the body. Some memories and emotions, if left unprocessed by the brain, manifest in the physical body as pain. Sometimes this pain can be relieved but nor completely shifted by body work (like massage, physiotherapy, chiropractic, osteopathic work or acupuncture) or even medication. The pain may be caused by trapped emotion, suppressed heartache, or grief, emotional pain sometimes needs assistance to be released in other ways.

What is energetic healing?

Energetic work is conducted fully clothed on the massage table. A variety of methods are used – tailored to your needs.

These may consist of:

  • EFT ( Emotional Freedom Technique) or tapping to release subconscious beliefs and old thought patterns
  • Meditation – using guided meditation, connect with your inner child, teenager, goddess or warrior to strengthen and realign your soul
  • Reiki – hands on healing channels universal energy calming the body and mind and clearing blockages in the body
  • I utilise intuitive guidance to unlock additional insight for your healing
  • As a trained counsellor I offer support and a safe space to release emotions which you no longer need to carry

How will I feel after?

Some clients immediately feel lighter, happier, stronger and more vibrant. Others report feeling particularly emotional in the days following a  treatment. This is part of the healing process. It is important during this time to allow these emotions to pass through you and release them from the body. Whether they appear as sadness, grief, anger or depression, sit with these emotions, acknowledge them and let them pass. Be kind to yourself, rest, retreat if you feel the need to, walk in nature, drink water, nourish your body and sleep. The body is in recovery. Gentle movement and rest will help to move the emotions out of your body.

Energy healings are $150 per session and are approximately 1.5 – 2 hours.

Sometimes one session is enough to release pain, for older or more established pain a few sessions are beneficial to work more deeply.

The only question for you to answer is – Are you ready?

Book a session
by

Gut Feeling

Have you ever walked into a room of new people and seen someone you felt you should avoid? Ever sensed where your car was in a shopping centre car park, even though hours of shopping had spun you around and you forgot where you parked? Ever walked out of a job interview and knew you had the job? These are all gut feelings.

Harvard University and many other medical and scientific journals are just starting to prove what many of us have sensed for years. They are now discovering that our stomach and digestive system are actually made up of millions and millions of neurones that we thought were only found in the brain. They are now referring to the stomach as the “second brain”.

Some people who are either highly in tune with their bodies, hypersensitive, intuitive or empaths, already are nodding their heads. This makes sense to them. It feels obvious to me. I know when I go against my gut or my instinct; I always wish I had’nt. Even so far as the conversation I have at my front door nearly every day “ should I take a cardigan?” then I remember I live in Brisbane now, so the answer is mostly no.

Medical studies are just catching up with this theory about the gut brain connection. You can google gut/brain to see more of the studies and the experiments they are now conducting on the link between food and mood, and how depression and anxiety can stem from the gut. We are also finding out how over-prescription of antibiotics can now not only mess with your gut flora but as a consequence your emotions and mood. The amazing thing is that they have proven that by examining cells in the intestines that they are actually made up of millions of neurons, which previously were believed to be the cells only found in the brain. I’m no neuro-scientist, so you can have a look at some of the links, but finally there is proof. We need to start to trust our gut!

The simplified version of this, or how it was explained to me in a diagrammatic form is that in utero as the cells are growing and dividing, when the fetus looks like a little baby mouseling thing, half the cells morph into the head and half into the stomach. The cells split and divide and the neurons or previously what we called “brain cells” were split in two between the head and the belly. Shared cells in two different parts of the body. Scientists argue that this doesn’t mean the stomach can think, it just means it is capable of highly functioning tasks. Like the very un-sexy one of breaking down our food into a bolus or churning it into chyme in order to expel this in the form of waste from our body. I disagree; my stomach tells me stuff all the time. I ‘m only just starting to listen to it.

A few weeks ago I woke with an oppressive feeling of absolute darkness. I knew somebody was going to die but I didn’t feel it was in my family. It didn’t take me long to wonder as a few hours after not being able to shake this feeling, the terrorist attack happened on London Bridge. I actually told my husband that day as the feeling was so strong. Now that I have started to really listen to my inner voice, my intuition or my gut feelings, I feel that I need to know when they are true, just for proof. So telling someone, or even just writing it down is my validation.

Like most people in their twenties, I thought I knew everything. Whenever I felt anything, I pushed this down and overrode this with what I thought was my more superior brain. It got me into all sorts of trouble, with what I thought were the “best” friends or the most “adventurous” relationship or even the “perfect” job.

At the beginning of my career, when I worked in a job I had tired of, I was desperate to work in advertising. I had an interview with an agency where they liked my experience but assured me I would be bored. I was so full of youth and enthusiasm, I ignored this wisdom. It was an ad agency, it was my dream! They offered me a trial day to see what I thought. On a deeper level I knew it was wrong for me, a large corporate office based on the North Shore, all my friends were in the city, it was a longer commute, not a great increase in salary and the staff were a little less colourful than what I was used to.

The morning of the trial I was given two briefs. One was to write a piece on a rubber backed mat using the words “high traffic area” and the other was to celebrate the use of a revolving cloth towel dispenser in public bathrooms. I kid you not. I took my lunch break and phoned the receptionist from a pay phone. “I’m not coming back.”  I said into the orange mouth piece. “ We thought so, ” was his reply. Sometimes you just know.

When I overstayed in an unhealthy relationship, my body certainly let me know. If breaking out in hives wasn’t enough, vomiting every time he put the key in the door when he came home from work was a sure sign. I still told myself I was having an allergic reaction to some vitamins I was taking.  We make up all kinds of stories to justify our actions. Listening to my gut could have saved me many months of heartache.

I have also had days in the office where things didn’t feel right, where even though my brain told me it was just another day, my stomach would sink and lurch and tell me otherwise. Then a staff meeting would be called, an announcement made, restructure, redundancies etc. The gut knows things the brain doesn’t.

Many, many times I have ignored my gut, my inner voice or my instinct about someone or something. Now people who know me, get used to me saying “ I just know,” or “I’m pretty certain this is the right thing for you to do,” or “this just doesn’t feel right to me.” I am learning to trust it. So far it has always pointed me in the right direction. I certainly know when I go against it because things just don’t turn out right. My lesson in life right now is trust my gut.

I am a Brisbane based Counsellor, Massage Therapist, and Reiki Practitioner, currently exploring the areas of intuition in the role of energetic healing. For appointments see my website https://www.rachelwilkinson.com.au/ or email info@rachelwilkinson.com.au

Links:

http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/healthy_aging/healthy_body/the-brain-gut-connection

https://www.newscientist.com/article/mg21628951-900-gut-instincts-the-secrets-of-your-second-brain/

http://www.health.harvard.edu/diseases-and-conditions/the-gut-brain-connection

by

Strip it down

Kata Tjuta – Olgas, NT.

I have just spent a few days in the outback. It was fairly impromptu. Although I took great care in packing all the things I thought I would need, it turned out I needed much less. The days we walked out into the bush carrying only water and a camera were the most free I had felt in a long time.

Standing in such a great expanse of land and sky cleared my mind. I realised how we crowd our lives full of stuff we don’t really need.  All I needed were shoes, T-shirt, trousers, a jacket and an open mind. I laughed a lot. We blamed it on the altitude, the vortex or the spirit of the place. But it was more of a lightness of being, nothing to think about and stripping life down to the bare bones. All we needed were food, cameras and sunscreen. Oh and WIFI so we could broadcast to the world what a great time we were having.

When I returned home, I looked at my house and all of the possessions we have accumulated and dragged around with every house move. I then started to think about all the things I felt I needed to do and the madness crowded back in. I had to:

  • Unpack bag
  • Wash clothes
  • Hose the red earth from my shoes
  • Clean and tidy the house
  • Set up for a new client
  • Buy groceries
  • Manage children

I can see why a simple life is appealing. A small dwelling, a humpy, a fire, bush food. No groceries or house cleaning, no clothes, no shoes. While I know this is never going to be a reality for me,  I can understand how mentally freeing it is. How the mind has other places to go rather than worry. Joy for example, insane fits of giggling, peacefulness, serenity.

Meditation for me, has been a helpful way to clear my mind of clutter of an evening. I can then fall asleep without the whirings of my mind. I’ve now realised I also have to dump some of the other worries and irritation and guilt and stress and baggage I carry around with me on a daily basis. Clutter is not only external. I feel like I am approaching the middle of my life, checking in my luggage and being told my bags are oversize. I have an excess of emotional baggage I no longer need to carry around with me.

I am no longer going to worry about:

  • What my partner, children, friends or family are stressing about. They have to carry their own luggage.
  • Ancient history, childhood beliefs, negative feelings or attitudes or blame or thinking I am not enough. I am an adult. I am responsible and accept myself for who I am, and how those experiences have shaped me. I have enough to carry without all that old stuff.
  • Other people’s issues, dramas, problems, – I will empathise and listen but I cannot carry these for you, they don’t belong to me. Only you can fix you.
  • Past disappointments – these have passed. I free myself from feeling blame, or guilt or sadness for these. I have grown and changed and no longer need to hold on to these old feelings.
  • Work – somehow this always manages to sort itself out and my worrying or stressing or carrying the burden and weight of these problems do not help the outcome.
  • World problems – poverty, terrorism, politics, war, economics, illness, death – this is all out of my control and too much for one person to carry.

I surrender. I unpack my excess baggage and I will no longer be lugging all of this additional weight. I don’t need it anymore. I have stripped it down. There is nothing more to do now – but fly.

 

 

by

A Conscious Choice

Two years ago

Yesterday, I celebrated an anniversary. I noticed the day approaching in my diary and only realised on the day that I had actually made it. Two years. Facebook kindly sent me the photo of the last night I got drunk with two of my friends. We were all smiles. That was Saturday 23 May, 2015. At the time, I didn’t know it was going to be my last drink, but in so many ways, I am very glad it was.

I did some voluntary work with a counsellor as part of my Diploma in Counselling. I arrived one Monday, still hung-over, tired and a bit morose after losing my house keys, car keys and quite inelegantly vomiting in a car park of a local pub.

She suggested a 30 day detox, which I figured should be easy enough. She also suggested I write about it, which I did. I published a series of blogs on to her website under the pseudonym Roxi, I think I thought that it was best to protect my identity at this time, plus I was ashamed at my middle aged teenage binge drinking behaviour.

I wrote quite a bit during this process and it was helpful for me to get the story out. Like a purge, a word vomit and a way to keep me distracted. In the beginning, I stayed in a lot, I knocked back every social occasion I could, I meditated, I watched TV, I read, I ran like a demented woman and I drank a shed load of tea.

Georgia, my counsellor, went on to start an inspired collaboration called The Addictive World. Together with Kym Haynes a wonderful kinesiologist, they set up groups, started educating the people in these groups on ways to better cope with stress, spoke to council and community groups and have now taken this program around the country. I watch them in awe, two women tackling big issues including many varieties of addiction, domestic violence, PTSD, anxiety and general stress. They are starting to slowly and gently lead so many individuals and families into recovery. You can find out more about the incredible things they are up to at http://theaddictiveworld.com.au/ or find their facebook page at iRecoverMe https://www.facebook.com/theaddictiveworld.au/.

Here’s some of my blogs which I wrote when I was going through the 9 Conscious Choices and attending group, which was pretty daunting, scary, lonely and hard sometimes. My heart and soul have been opened by this group in such amazing ways. As well as the tears, we shared many laughs.

If you know or live with someone experiencing the cycle of addiction, it is impossible not to get pulled in to the drama. It is a hard place to find peace.  I know what it is like to live there and I’m a pretty good listener if you ever want to talk about it. I hope the blogs or addiction website are helpful to you or someone you know living with addiction.

Blog Addiction

 

by

Three Duck Day

 

I begin my journey to work every day looking for wildlife. I feel reassured and have a sense of hope about the world and the survival of the planet if I see wildlife on the way to work. Once I saw a spoonbill on the Birkdale roundabout and I was thrilled at the braveness and audacity of him having breakfast right outside of Woollies.

There are a few places I regularly scan. My street, I always look for koalas although I see them less and less now. The roundabout to Wynnum dips slightly to a hollow at the curve of the road and here I look for ducks. There is a small pool of mud and water with some purple lily pads and sometimes, ducks. Over the bridge at Tingalpa I look for herons and early morning kayakers. It’s only a glance ,Mum, I always have my eyes on the road. The other place is deep down on Rickertts road and just as I am losing my patience with the long line of traffic I can cast my eyes across the swamp that was recently dredged and I check for ducks.

Something about the shape of a duck makes me happy. The sheer un-aerodynamic-ness of them, the rounded tummy and blunted beak perfect for scruffling around in mud. The way they are rounded for buoyancy but somehow don’t look sleek enough to fly. When I see them in flight in a line it always makes me smile, the sight of their rounded fat bellies demonstrates to me that anything is possible. Flying ducks give me hope, swimming, splashing ducks and seeing little duck tails waggling in the air just makes me plain happy.

A few weeks ago I was trying to describe to my husband the exact juncture in the road that was underwater due to a cyclone and extreme weather. I told him it was underwater at the roundabout where the ducks are. He looked at me quizzically. He needed more detail. He notices signs, road names, cross streets, I had nothing. Just ducks. I look for living things.

The other day I had a great start to the day, I’d been for an early morning run, seen a male moor hen in the wetland creek behind my street standing proud in the long grass, gleaming a glorious blue, but the red downward curve of his beak made him look arrogant. He was beautiful, but not amusing. I got ready for work, gathered children into the car and off to school, turned down the road to work and as I glanced left I saw it. Three ducks! What a blessing! A three duck day! I knew I could stop looking now, civilisation was assured the planet could continue, among all this progress and development there was still a beating pulse of life. A three duck day = happy.

I continued driving along, smiling, today is a good day I kept thinking, a three duck day, not quite a fist pump but a spreading warmth and secret smile. I glanced across Tingalpa creek as I made the crossing into Brisbane, no herons, no kayaks. I’m still riding the happiness of a three duck day.

As I turn towards Manly, the car in front of me slows and breaks, I’m confused, there are no traffic lights here or a right hand turn, it’s a straight strip. I wait. Then I see them. On the side of the road is a brown mother duck with 6 or 7 little ducklings, a fluffy blur of wings and beaks and little black feet. They are all panicking following her startled movements back and forth on to the road, then off, the ducklings are fluttery and uncertain. I stop and watch them willing them on, the driver on the other side of the road also slows to a stop. “Go little ducksters!” I cheer. We wait until mother duck feels confident and safe and she ushers her little brown family across the busy road. Traffic in both directions has halted and the drivers watch together. We are all smiling at the cuteness of it. I am warmed by the sudden collective humanity and human kindness.

I realise the capacity that animals have to create universal happiness. I forgive people for being greedy and obsessed with consumerism and commercial growth. I see their kindness and feel uplifted and grateful. It’s not exactly an epiphany but a beautiful slow moment in my busy day where I can pause and really experience life.

Days later, travelling the same road into the city, with my family, I pass the bend in the road where the duck family crossed and I remember and tell my girls about it. They make the sounds little girls make when something is adorable. I watch my husband’s face and I see him smile. It’s a good day.

by